BEN CARSON

Presidential Candidate, Tea-Baggermindsoap - monster manual - ben carson

ARMOR CLASS: 5 (+4 Surgical Scrubs of Implied Credibility)
MOVE: 10″
HIT POINTS: 30
NO. OF ATTACKS: 3-5/day
DAMAGE/ATTACK: Christian Theocracy
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Pandering to Fundamentalists
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Recycling Fox News Headlines as Personal Epiphanies 
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Raging Narcissism, Bizarre Hand Gestures
WEAKNESSES: Facts, Gravity, Past Statements, Science, History, Medical Malpractice Lawsuits
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Standard
INTELLIGENCE: Braaaaains!
SIZE: M (6″)
ALIGNMENT: Neutral Evil (Republican)
WORSHIPER’S ALIGN: Neutral Evil (Seventh-Day Adventist Cult)
SYMBOL: Egyptian Pyramid Filled with Grain
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CLERIC/DRUID: 12th level Neurosurgeon
FIGHTER: nil
MAGIC USER/ILLUSIONIST: 5th level Illusionist
THIEF/ASSASSIN: nil
MONK/BARD: nil
PSIONIC ABILITY: 
S: 13  I: 10  W: 4  D: 13  C: 12  CH: 17

 

 

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Ben Carson: Reality Impaired