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Month: May 2014

God Orders Teacher to Attack Skateboarder

Meet Thomas Hammer, a 2nd grade teacher at Cielo Vista Elementary School located in Rancho Santa Margarita, California.  Mr. Hammer was filmed and later arrested back in June 2013 threatening young skateboarders.  Check out the video below.     Hammer was later arrested, placed on administrative leave by the district, and was originally looking at a felony charge of taking property and a misdemeanor charge of assault with a deadly weapon.  [ article]  Unfortunately the felony charge was dismissed and the school district quietly allowed him to return to campus “in a support role working with other teachers,” according to a statement.  Parents are understandably furious and several have pulled their children from the school.  The Saddleback Valley Unified School District has now put Hammer back on leave.  Mr. Hammer has plead not guilty to the misdemeanor charge and will appear for a pre-trial hearing on Thursday, May 22nd. So what was Hammer’s justification for his actions?   “When I stepped in, I felt compelled by a higher power,” Hammer said. “Honestly, have you ever been grabbed by the Lord in a way you never thought you would or you could? That’s exactly what I’m testifying to, and I’m not speaking in hyperbole. I’m speaking right from the heart.” [via Orange County Register] . So Mr. Hammer takes it upon himself to waddle down the street and confront a...

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Dark Disciples

This is a parody/satire of the old religious propaganda comic called “Dark Dungeons“.  Instead of joining a witches coven, young misguided Debbie is cleverly indoctrinated into the cult of Christianity, with predictable results.     I was gifted a copy of the original comic in ’84 when the neighborhood parents lost their shit when all the kids started to play Dungeons and Dragons.  I remember one neighbor’s kids knocked on our door and said that he would no longer be playing D&D because it was evil and asked I wanted his stuff.  Umm, sure!  Score!  At the age of 14 that stuff is expensive!  An hour later I found several manuals and modules at our front door… all ripped to shreds, with the Dark Dungeons comic sitting on top.   Anti-D&D hysteria was the panic du jour at the time and the hyper-religious parents in the neighborhood made sure that their kids stayed far away from us after it was obvious I was not giving up the game.  I also remember calling up the phone number on the back of the comic.  A lady answered the phone and I asked her why they thought Dungeons and Dragons was evil.  The only answer I could really get from her was that magic was a mockery of Jesus Christ.  “Even when my magic-user casts fireball?  That’s bad too?”  <<click>>  Oh well.  Fuck...

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